Hold On a Second, Let These Old Guys Explain Something to You

 

Can we talk about this thing for a second?  Seriously, though.  Our long national nightmare is finally over- Bill O’Reilly and Dr. (LOL) Keith Blapblop, M.D. have taken the time to dissect the meaning of “Gangnam Style.”  They hit on all the relevant points here: Elvis, The Beatles, Justin Bieber, sunglasses, DOING DRUGS, and naturally, the Olivia books.

 

 

There’s so much wrong with this.

“The most popular music, apparently, is that without intelligible words, to some extent. . .”  This song is in Korean, so yes, I suppose this is actually correct? If you don’t speak a certain language the words said in that language can sound unintelligible. This is the verbal equivalent of a misspelled sign demanding that people speak English more good.

“This is the son of Facebook, if you will.”  Ha ha, okay, dude. 

“This is a little fat guy from Yongyang, or someplace-”  “Wearing sunglasses.” WAIT, WHAT? IT’S 2012, YOU GUYS. Are you trolling right now? Is this real life? 

“It looks like the internet is just some kind of place where people want some kind of numbing- they want to numb themselves.” Well, you nailed it, two old white guys yelling on the TV. Nailed it. Let’s close up shop, Internet- seedy underbelly has been exposed. Nothing left to see here.

“You know what, I had a little kids book I wrote. . .” Ohhhh . . . I see what’s happening here.

“But try to tell [kids] about courage, and that won’t be purchased by the great masses who now want not to be tapped on the heartstrings, but simply to be pushed toward a good beat that kind of buries them in music.”  The logical gymnastics that it took for this guy to get to this point are just the best. Don’t take it out on K-Pop because you wrote a terrible kids’ book that everyone hated and no one wanted to publish, dude.

“It’s the same as getting high, in miniature.” Ah yes, the ol’ “miniature high.” That’s the worst. Settle down, Cheech.

Here is the point I think they were making?  

People like watching things they enjoy because enjoyment makes them feel good. But anything you do for enjoyment that takes you away from immersing yourself in some Platonic ideal of a “deeper meaning” is invariably a waste of time, and you might as well just GO AND SMOKE DRUGS.

Aside from this entire segment being super unnecessary and actually sort of racist, all these two guys are really doing is dredging up an old argument that’s been around forever and was stale the first hundred times we’ve heard it. 

At its heart, this is just really another lame derivative of the “Back in my day . . .” argument- radio, rock and roll, hip-hop, TV, and video games have all been conductors on the “End of the World As We Know It” train at some point, and for every “Gangnam Style,” there’s something else out there being made could make a case for itself being objectively “meaningful.”

It makes sense that social media is helping drive that train now, and if that means it puts a couple car lengths between me and guys like these two, I’m definitely happy to be “all aboard” (LOL, train joke).

 

 

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